Saturday, May 31, 2008













If I ever do come back in a reincarnated form (which I fully do not believe will happen) I would like to be a photographer. Not one of those wedding photog types. No, I was a wedding coordinator a lifetime ago and I can whole-heartedly say I would rather have my teeth pulled one at a time then go on the wedding circuit.


No, I would be the Ansel Adams lady. Yup, just travel the world with my trusty camera and capture life as it happens. Would that be so fun?


It would require some education in the finer art of photography. Maybe some classes on lighting and staging. It would be cool to take a Photoshop class and learn how to edit and manipulate the pics too! I wish I could say that is a priority right now, but it is not. Neither is storing my pics in organized books with creative captions and pretty pages. No, that ain't happening either.


I am simply about the shot.


I have recently done a wall with some of my prints. I would like to say that are all really snazzy and cool but honestly some are grainy and a little too dark, but they are a piece of the creative me. The part that rarely comes to surface.

I used to paint. I was terrible but i loved the act of quieting my spirit and spilling colors all about a canvas. They were not pretty, abstract, or worthy of display, but they were the demonstration of the discipline to create.

I think the creating thing must be innate to all of us, huh? We were wired this way from the Master creator. Doesn't everyone have a creative, artistic side to them? They surface in different and unique ways, all worthy of appreciation.
How 'bout you? How do you express your inspired self?

Friday, May 23, 2008

Mother's day surprises!



I haven't had time to post about the amazing gifts I got for Mother's day. One was this handmade box designed by my darling little ten-year old boy. The teacup and saucer were hand-crafted by my 7 year old daughter. My husband took me to see Wicked and my oldest gave me a card.

The most unique surprise goes to my sweet baby girl who used her heelies to fly down a debris infested hill to land squarely on her face. The ten stitches above the eye really was the gift. I thought she swiped her nose completely off her face the way she tripped over the twig and slid down the blacktop. It was frightening.

Have you done the head wound thing before? If not, think blood, lots of blood. I have seen this in action and so, I was not surprised as I lifted her off the pavement to see her face covered in the red velvet goo. Thankfully, it was only the eyebrow. God clearly grabbed her little face and protected her from complete reconstructive surgery. This I am certain.

Guess I had to put a little space between Mother's day and now to relive the dreadful moment. I think I feel guilty that I enabled the accident. Because she is so skilled on the wheeled shoes, I have never been fearful of an accident. The child is a master. She could totally earn Olympic gold on those silly things. So, I confess when she begged to go up a hill before bedtime, I conceded. Of course, no problem. 15 minutes to the park and back. No worries. In fact, she even had her nightgown on with sweats over it because this outing was to be so short and sweet.

Did I mention my older son was with us? He was propped high on a 8 foot brick column at the foot of the hill his sister ascended. He was the one I originally worried might break his neck. He was the one who had the phone to call dad. He was the one that chimed, "Well, that was a good idea to go down the hill, MOM!"

2 hours, 10 stitches and 100 bucks later...we were back at home. Thanking God for one of those Mother's days that will go down in infamy. The one that years from now will be replayed by the kids as the year mom dragged little sis to the giant hill and forced her to roll down face first into the blacktop. I can hear them now. Happy Mother's Day!









Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Junior High days....ah...the memories.

My oldest son is in the throws of adolescence. He is treading through the dreaded days of Junior High. I have been reliving my own moments through his sincere effort to find himself in this space and time.
He has been spending lots of time texting young ladies. It is a bit disconcerting for me, the momma. He sits beside me and sweetly requests advice on how to best tell his best friends love interest that he does not want to sit by her at the movie because it may hurt his friend's feelings. To which she responds, in some typical pouty jr. high girl way touting depression over how all she wanted was to "hang out!" He gets worried and tries to text back. "I think we should invite more people and make it a big party." She whimpers, "then I will never talk to you." He counters, "It's just the end of the year movie. We won't be able to talk anyway." She doesn't respond. He feels bad. OMGoodness. This is so JR. HIGH!
I appreciate so much that my son is trying to spare the feelings of all those he cares about. He sincerely wants to work all details out to please everyone. Which in Jr. High is never going to happen.
I remember the days of brooding in my room littered with glowing candles and playing the Heart song, Dog and Butterfly over and over and over again. Instead of texting we would linger for hours on end on the phone. (Which honestly, i think made our generation a much better communicative generation then these up coming ones with all their impersonal technological gadgets to speak through, text, im or whatever. )
The issues still haven't changed. Relationships. They are complicated. Boy likes girl. Girl doesn't like boy. Trouble ensues. Life sucks. Boy likes other girl. Girl still doesn't like boy. Now the first girl is interested in the boy who has since given up on that girl and is spreading vicious rumors and life still sucks. Insert your own silly scenario. Drama, oh the drama. When will it end?
I know I went through lots of candles and melancholy music in my junior high years. I know I was just like the girl my son texted last night on the phone. I worked hard to find my identity through dating the perfect boy at the skating rink.
My man ended up being several years my senior. He was mature and seemed to have it all together. In retrospect, all he had was the uncanny ability to skate backwards and the authority of being a "skate guard" which in those days was quite the varsity status. His greasy black hair and lack of intellect did not seem to factor in when I invited him to one of my babysitting jobs to hang out. Now, you may wonder who was lacking the brain power since every good teenage girl knows you are NEVER, EVER supposed to invite friends, especially BOYS, over to the houses you babysit, right? Well, apparently if you have been sucked into the Junior High "Boy" bubble you shape shift into stupid and that is not where my brain power ended, it gets worse. I leave the children unattended and proceed to make out on the side of the house with the slimy skate guard. Yes, this is very irresponsible. Yes, I am completely mortified that I did that. Yes, it is a turning point, one that will forever alter my moral compass and impact the rest of my life. Did I get caught? Heck yes! I was in my own neighborhood for pity sake! The guy next door was washing his car and saw us, told the family and they called my parents. Nice, huh? Proud moment. Not really.
So, I take that special memory and turn it into a teachable moment. I am reminding my sweet son that there are wacky girls just like his mom looking for sweet boys to give them their identity and build their self-confidence and he must proceed with caution. All the girls in his circle of life are doing the same thing he is and that is trying to find out who they were created to be. They tread through this season in trial and error in hopes of finding their skate guard moment. The pinnacle place when it all comes together and they release who they are NOT.

Thursday, May 8, 2008

It's spring and you know what that means....shorts and sleeveless tops are coming back in~! Yes, I love that! I am so psyched to expose my pasty legs and arms to the world. So excited in fact, I have been regularly trying to tighten my loose skin up by hitting the gym a little more regularly.

Gym life is interesting. If you have ever been a regular you know what I am talking about. People join clubs, gyms, athletic centers for a mirad of reasons and often the place you join explains why.

The "club" I work out now is not the typical gym. I have done the Bally's, Club LeFemme, Planet Fitness, Dales Athletic club...just to name a few. Each club has its own sort of environment/vibe, if you will. Not all gyms are created equal. I love to sweat. So, no matter what my size I have always been a gym rat. I love it.
In my young pre-children days I went to Bally's. It was mostly singles and it was high cardio/ big business. It was loud and fun. Then I had a couple of kids and gained some weight and didn't want to subject myself to all the tight tiny singles at Bally's.
I moved on. I felt safest at the all womens club. It was great from that aspect. No men, no judgement. Less self-loathing. I tried to believe that they would be able to care for my children during my one hour...but after hearing a child scream bloody murder through an entire class I decided we needed a change.
After the 3rd kid and a choice to homeschool (for a season), I joined the family gym with the awesome childcare. It was a place filled with all shapes and sizes. (Did I mention that I love to take classes? My high social need continues to propel me into all sorts of group fitness classes). I met some fantastic people at Dales. It was great for a season. Then my kids quit going and the club started feeling less and less homey and I begin to resent the old equipment and mildewy shower. That is when I stepped up my game and made ME a priority.
I joined the snotty club with the day spa and food court included. It is by the far the most glamorous gym I have ever been in. The lockers are made of cherry and have their own locks built in. They provide everything. No more lugging my hairdryer, shampoo or conditioner. It is such a splurge. But with the beauty and majesty of the amazing gym comes the beauty of those that can afford it.

Today while spinning my legs off in my cycling class. I peered around the dimmed room to see all these teeny little butts looking back at me. Of course there is NO way in hades I plop my giant anus in the front row for all the little ladies to stare at. No indeed, I stay in the farthest corner and think to myself "I believe my entire hand is the same size as this little woman's rumpus." It is nuts. I know these gals all have children too. They talk about them. I see them walking to their cars. It is CRAZY>! Today one of the waifs pulled her shirt off in the middle of class I nearly gasped, "dear child, I can see your ribs through your back!!" I almost dove off my bike and began searching through my gym bag for a protein bar or a buck so she could go buy a nibble to hold her over.
Now, the question is...how did Brenda end up in a place like this? Can you hear the song? One of these people doesn't belong here?
My goal in staying at this gym is to really educate the little people. I feel like I add a certain level of motivation for those itsy bitsy folks. I work hard to break the stereo types that thick people can't keep up or full-figured friends don't have the same cardio capacity. I am keeping it real for all those little people.
I will confess that I have told the Lord if he would ever allow me to be a teeny butted woman that I will never take my shirt off and I will always stay in the back row and I will never flaunt my washboard abs and ass of steel. This is my covenant. You can keep me true.

Friday, May 2, 2008

It's Business time....

Ok friends...this video link is one that I find completely and utterly hilarious! I will confess it is probably not that funny to anyone who has not been married for over 15 years. So be warned.

We made the mistake of showing it to our lifegroup friends and several of them are newlyweds. I thought they looked a little saddened and disgusted by the complete disregard of romance and sincerity. I had to giggle inside and say a little, "just you wait...you will see how funny this is in just a short little decade and a couple of kids later..." Instead, I tried to stifle my instinct and act a little put out by the irreverence of the whole thing.

All to say, this one is real life funny to me. If you need a little giggle give it a shot. Let me know what you think. If the link doesn't work just look up flight of the conchords on youtube. It's under Business time. :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WGOohBytKTU