Monday, July 28, 2008

Update on Mega Doosie....

First up, it's sad and pitiful that i haven't had time to vomit forth the plethora of fun and ditties that have overtaken my summer. I wish I could linger here longer and regurgitate the details because it really has been a wicked fun summer with the kids. I am sad it is almost over.
Maybe on a snowy day in January I will reflect and post pictures of my special holiday but in the meantime I have to do a little self-therapy which is all about me venting over the worker dudes in my basement trying to jack up the house.
Yes, I promised a follow-up and if nothing else it is really about me requesting prayers that my house might be secured on solid ground. (In the biblical sense and the literal one as well.)
Today at the strike of 8:30 the truck full of qualified jackers showed up. The king jacker came to the door and tentatively extended his hand and greetings to the psycho, freaking homeowner best known as ME!
I promise that this "supervisor" looked to have been pulled from a uterus about 15 minutes ago. I believe he hasn't begun shaving. I almost felt compelled to pull him to my bosom and begin nursing him, he looked so YOUNG!
Yeah, that might be a graphic illustration, but SORRY...this child is going to supervise a mega expensive home renovation project. He is going to see that 19 holes get punched in and around my house with precision and skill.
I thought it best to just ask the babe how old he was,"sir, you look young to be in this business, what are you 15?"
"No ma'am, I am 19."
Giant sigh, now I know he is qualified to lift my house."So, how long have you been doing this?"
"5 years."
YEA!! Now, I feel much better. At the age of 15, one simple year older then my son, he began training to jack up houses.
I believe I need a drink. Not a whimpy one, a serious one with lots of the liquor that makes things happy and fuzzy and not scary anymore.
So, I begin to shrug off all the red flags and blaring sirens alerting me that this is not good and try to ask more intelligent questions regarding the 3 day event.
"Do you think we will really be able to push my fireplace back into place?"
"Yeah, I think so."
"I am pretty worried about this..."
"Why are you worried?" King jacker asks with his best concerned face.
"I really don't want more damage done as a result of the work that you are doing. You don't think you will damage my draining around the house, do you?"
"I don't think so."
"How exactly are you going to get the fireplace back into it's place?"
"We will dig a tunnel and crawl under it and put the jacks under that."
"This whole thing does not sound very safe."
Him smiling, no response.
"Well, okay....anything I need to do?"(besides call every prayer chain in the tri-state region and petition the Lord for His securing of my home, and safety for these workers.)
"No, I think we are good."
I know it was not nice for me to immediately call the company and ask about the King's credentials but I had to know. Is this boy really going to know how to do this job? We went with this company because they guarantee their work and they have been in the business for over 30 years. So, I asked the lady to talk me off the ledge and she kindly promised me that the King is one of the best they have. His dad is the Uber King and he has been training Jr. for this very day. He does know how to read the map and execute the job and I do not need to worry.
Wow, I feel better now or not.
I guess I can learn to like the sweet lulling sound of cement jacking and the air filling with a fine dust. If I just focus on the muted Spanish lyrics on the radio then it will give me the illusion that I am in a foreign Catina. Yeah, I am sure that will do the trick. So, pass me another Corona and we'll talk in the morrow as I try to work this panic attack off the old fashioned way.

Sunday, July 13, 2008

The Weasel Returns!




So much is happening so little time to post it!!

My oldest has been to Boy Scout Camp for 10 days and has returned to the flock finally with a special new Indian name chosen by him for a honorary tribe of the Mic-O-Say dudes. Anyhow, funny part of the story is my husband was trying to find the perfect name for him. This is some weird scout deal where you are to go out into the woods and ponder life and your purpose or something and voila the magical scout name comes to you.

Well, that is sort of hocus pocus because most of the boys know they are going to be tapped into the tribe and they come up with their name before joining. So, my scout wanna-be husband thought it would be great to advise our first born on the clever names to mock the privilege and honor of the Mic-O-Say braves by giving him a name like Mighty Northern Wind, Bent Arrow of the Early Morning, Mighty Wood or Tedious Beaver. (Thank goodness my son doesn't get the Beaver implication yet...)
Have I mentioned that my husband has the humor of a seventh grader? This name thing completely brought it out in him and he was determined to make our scout agree with his "hilarious" name choices.
I didn't think the mockery would really go over as well with the "serious" scouting community. For you unfamiliar with the world of scouting...let me tell you they are an interesting breed. Grown men still don the uniform proudly for days at a time at Camp Bartle. (See picture above!)They even participate in the coveted secret society of Order of the Arrow and the Tribe of Mic-O-say. These men camp days at a time to increase their position in the fraternities. They even go as far as dressing in loin cloths, dancing to drum music and singing weird Indian songs. This is not a crew to mock. They take their scouting very, very seriously.
Thankfully, our oldest dumped dad's suggestion and went with his family nickname, Weasel. I thought it was apropos since we have called all of children our weasels since they were born. I did think he could've spiced it up by calling himself the Spitting, Fighting Weasel or Angry, Nasty Weasel. I guess it is still better then Crazy Ass Ferret or Little Vermin filled with Rabies!

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

The Mega Doosie

Summer isn't just about fun here at our house. No, it is also about the projects. Lots of little cleaning kind of projects. We have already gone through drawers and closets finding the outgrown clothes and toys and donating them on to our dear friends. We have some painting planned and then we have the MEGA DOOSIE project.

Yep, this monster is one that nightmares are made of! This Mega Doosie project is worth thousands of dollars and is requiring loads of sweat equity just to prepare to conquer it. It may or may not even work....and it could create more problems by doing it. Have you figured it out yet? I know you are on the edge of your seat with anticipation, huh? This summer we are Jacking our house up!

I know this sounds exciting. We are the proud recipients of 16 cement piers placed strategically IN our house. Yes, this is going to be fun. We get to pull up the carpet of our finished basement and watch the skilled workers punch holes in the foundation of our house and pour some sort of cement pillars into the ground. They use some sort of metal forced thingy to push up on the secure ground and in all effects lift our house up. That sort of reinforcement not only gets placed in the middle of our basement but all along the walls of our storage room that is jam-packed full from floor to ceiling with every tool, Christmas decoration, paint can, Easter basket, hand-me-down, memory book, bull crap item we have ever accumulated since 1972. I am telling you that pulling the crap from the storage is overwhelming enough. I cannot imagine what watching men pound out cement holes all around the inside of my home is going to feel like. I am already nauseous.

So, the big project is happening in just 3 short weeks. It supposedly will allow us to close our bedroom door again. It has happily been ajar for 8 months. It could possibly close up some of the major cracks and crevasses that have formed throughout our house. The damage has already been pretty significant, so the process of jacking may not be any worse then what we are already living with. Sadly, they don't know for sure if the house will take on water after these piers have been placed. They do guarantee that the house will be secure so if there are any more problems they will fix it. And kindly, the warranty will go with the house should anyone ever want to buy it from us.

This is where I insert that this is the house that I grew up in...yes, very Clever familyish. I know. I have been living in this house on and off since I was in 7th grade. We bought it when my folks were moving out of state and our church was relocating in this vicinity. We thought it would be such a perfect fit. And to its credit, it is a nice old house. It has plenty of room and a great floor plan. We have remodeled the first floor knocking out a wall and redoing the kitchen and also finished the basement so it does "feel" like our house and not my mothers. But i will confess, that someday in my life...I would like to live in a different house. I fear if we do not jack this baby up now, I may be here until I die!!

So, today is prep day. I have invited four 14yr. old boys to come and spend a couple of hours dragging all the "stuff" from my storage room up into the garage. It is about 92 degrees today and the humidity is a million so these boys are earning every nickel of the movie ticket I promised them. Part of the deal was that they say nothing aloud about the amounts of trash I have or tell any of their parents what a packrat I am or they immediately forfeit their share of the peel and bake cookies and free movie tickets!

Yeah, the labor is doing its part and we are making progress. I gotta confess I am having a hard time figuring out what to do with all this stuff that has been camping in my basement for the last 10+ years. Finding the bank box filled with cassette tapes from my Jr. High years and the 6,000 VHS tapes that I just don't want to get rid of is causing a bit of a moral dilemma for me. Why....why do i save these things? What about the toys? Stuff is everywhere like the Thomas the Tank engine junk, the playskol parking garage, the 300 Easter baskets, the old clock, the tired lamps, the doll collection, the unused dishes, the albums....I don't even have a turn table. I have a huge box of antique hats from my grandmother. Should I donate these to a local museum? Think I can unload any of this on Craig's List or better yet hit the dumpster?

So there you have it....the Doosie of the summer is in full force. I will take pictures of the actual work being done. They warned us that we may not want to be around on the day that they actually lift the house because it makes such loud popping, busting, breaking sounds and then the dust flies and it can be very disturbing. As if I am not disturbed already. I did mention that my bedroom door hasn't been shut for the last 8 months, didn't I?

Sunday, July 6, 2008

I love the summer....

I love the summer! I love the heat.
I do not love the sweat that pours from every inappropriate spot on my body but I do love the sun that produces the heat that makes me feel warm and reminds me that it isn't the nasty gray winter which I loathe.

I love the water in the summer.
Water that refreshes and gives hydration and tastes better in the summer especially with chunks of lemon and sweet and low. I love the water in the summer. I do love the pool in the summer but only when I find the perfect chaise lounge that is securely located by full-figured women who share my affection for the sun and are relentlessly bold about sharing their bronzed flesh with the world. These ladies are my heroes. They love the water too. They must love summer.

I love my kids home in the summer.
I love my kids when they embrace the flexibility of the schedule meaning they don't care when I leave them unattended for a work-out or a haircut or an errand. When they find ways of entertaining themselves without prompting. I love my kids in the summer when they love being with each other and with the rest of the family. I will miss these days with my kids in the summer. I don't miss the days near the end of summer when they feel the wretch of the school calendar calling them back into routine. I hate the end of the summer when the nights get shorter and the mornings get earlier and I don't get to see my kids as often.

I love grill in the summer.
I love firing up my gas grill and throwing all sorts of meats and veggies out there. I love pretending to know how to grill fish. I love the idea that one of these days I am going to grill the perfect fish. It will surprise me and be delicious and not fishy and nasty and dry. I love the way I use my griddle on the grill. It is such a beautiful contraption that has made me love my grill even more. I do not love the fact that my grill sits directly in the western sun and in July produces lots of the heat that I do love but hate when i sweat from all the not so pretty parts of my body.

I love fresh produce in the summer.
I love to pretend to like all kinds of vegetables in the summer. I love to go to Farmer's Markets and buy produce and imagine myself cooking, chopping, grilling and eating all sorts of vegetables. I love going to the blueberry patch and picking ripe, sweet, crispy blueberries right off of the vine! I love thinking that I am almost a farmer and that the summer is making me healthier and stronger and better.

I love reading books in the summer.
I love that I just read the Shack. I love that I had time to allow the story to steep into my spirit. I love that the book is one that will radically transform my thinking about the Trinity forever.

Ahhh, I love the summer!