Junior High days....ah...the memories.

My oldest son is in the throws of adolescence. He is treading through the dreaded days of Junior High. I have been reliving my own moments through his sincere effort to find himself in this space and time.
He has been spending lots of time texting young ladies. It is a bit disconcerting for me, the momma. He sits beside me and sweetly requests advice on how to best tell his best friends love interest that he does not want to sit by her at the movie because it may hurt his friend's feelings. To which she responds, in some typical pouty jr. high girl way touting depression over how all she wanted was to "hang out!" He gets worried and tries to text back. "I think we should invite more people and make it a big party." She whimpers, "then I will never talk to you." He counters, "It's just the end of the year movie. We won't be able to talk anyway." She doesn't respond. He feels bad. OMGoodness. This is so JR. HIGH!
I appreciate so much that my son is trying to spare the feelings of all those he cares about. He sincerely wants to work all details out to please everyone. Which in Jr. High is never going to happen.
I remember the days of brooding in my room littered with glowing candles and playing the Heart song, Dog and Butterfly over and over and over again. Instead of texting we would linger for hours on end on the phone. (Which honestly, i think made our generation a much better communicative generation then these up coming ones with all their impersonal technological gadgets to speak through, text, im or whatever. )
The issues still haven't changed. Relationships. They are complicated. Boy likes girl. Girl doesn't like boy. Trouble ensues. Life sucks. Boy likes other girl. Girl still doesn't like boy. Now the first girl is interested in the boy who has since given up on that girl and is spreading vicious rumors and life still sucks. Insert your own silly scenario. Drama, oh the drama. When will it end?
I know I went through lots of candles and melancholy music in my junior high years. I know I was just like the girl my son texted last night on the phone. I worked hard to find my identity through dating the perfect boy at the skating rink.
My man ended up being several years my senior. He was mature and seemed to have it all together. In retrospect, all he had was the uncanny ability to skate backwards and the authority of being a "skate guard" which in those days was quite the varsity status. His greasy black hair and lack of intellect did not seem to factor in when I invited him to one of my babysitting jobs to hang out. Now, you may wonder who was lacking the brain power since every good teenage girl knows you are NEVER, EVER supposed to invite friends, especially BOYS, over to the houses you babysit, right? Well, apparently if you have been sucked into the Junior High "Boy" bubble you shape shift into stupid and that is not where my brain power ended, it gets worse. I leave the children unattended and proceed to make out on the side of the house with the slimy skate guard. Yes, this is very irresponsible. Yes, I am completely mortified that I did that. Yes, it is a turning point, one that will forever alter my moral compass and impact the rest of my life. Did I get caught? Heck yes! I was in my own neighborhood for pity sake! The guy next door was washing his car and saw us, told the family and they called my parents. Nice, huh? Proud moment. Not really.
So, I take that special memory and turn it into a teachable moment. I am reminding my sweet son that there are wacky girls just like his mom looking for sweet boys to give them their identity and build their self-confidence and he must proceed with caution. All the girls in his circle of life are doing the same thing he is and that is trying to find out who they were created to be. They tread through this season in trial and error in hopes of finding their skate guard moment. The pinnacle place when it all comes together and they release who they are NOT.