Yard Sale Chaos

Have you ever done a yard sale before??? How about a church wide yard sale? Multiple the fun times 50!! I tell you, if I never do one again I will die peacefully and without regret.

Talk about your class A nightmare. This is it. Multiple families dropping off bags, suburbans, semi-trucks full of unwanted, discarded stuff and then trying to sort, price and sell this magical miscellaneous mountain of debris is exhausting.

Did I mention this is a youth sponsored event? So, since I am the only one on the youth staff who is over the age of 30 and hosted my own garage sale, I am the designated expert. What's wrong with being the expert??

Oh young padawan.....there is plenty. Expert means many marvelous mysteries in yard sales terms. Expert means when someone opens a bag of plastic cups from 1962 that have been mildewed and corroded with goo you say, "throw it out!" Expert gives permission to price all tupperware items at .25$ a piece. Expert knows how to put all happy meal toys in a box marked a dime. Expert knows that a saavy bunch of over zealous folks with extended-bed trucks are going to show up at least one hour before scheduled time of sale to squeeze in the front door and swipe all the antiques and worthwhile treasures and then bicker over the price. Expert is the bossy woman who knows how to label different tables and encourage hours of sorting and pricing.

Yes, dear ones. I am the "that" expert, the queen of the trash heap, the ruler of recycling. I wore my crown with splendor today. I have the swollen feet, sore back and weary attitude to prove it. Feels a bit like being the Queen of the delivery room. You work hard for a beautiful cause. In this case it is not a precious baby but the labor of love felt much the same as we raised $4,000 for missions.

I am an idiot!!!

Do you ever surprise yourself with your own stupidity?? Well, today I had a moment of my own. I have an online facebook account and i have over 200 "friends". These are basically people who I know in some form or another through my years of ministry or old acquaintances, pals, classmates. There are a lot of High school students on my facebook account because i work with them at our church. So, needless to say....my stupidity has now arched into a public affair.

Did any of you see the cute little cartoon of the two chocolate Easter bunnies? One had its tail chewed off and the other its ears. One without tails says...."My ass hurts". The ear less one responds, "I can't hear you!". This little thing made me laugh out loud. I thought it was so cute. I was going to forward it to a few of my select adult friends. But little did i know when i hit the forward button it would go through to all the friends who had a superwall application on their facebook account.

Did I say I am an idiot? Because I am.

So, now all my students have a nice foul-mouthed cartoon from their youth leader at church!! Neat. I nearly pooped my pants when I saw that it forwarded it on to the masses. UGH!! I am so technologically challenged. This surely could have been stopped if I only knew how.

Instead, I have sent out a lovely apology with a pretty Easter Lily in hopes of blotting the memory of the nasty bunnies. Oh, I am an idiot!

Big Item fun day!!

We have this special day in our city that is coveted and respected by all the true bargain basement trash diggers...it is called big item pick up day!! This yearly event is designated free pick up of any unwanted large items by the city. And yes my friends, this is the day that all good dumpster divers find the largest vehicle they can and begin combing streets at dusk looking to peruse, grab and reuse any and all treasures alike.

I have had many fond memories on this special holiday. My girlfriend and I have nearly peed our pants trying to scurry from our truck and haul giant useless items into our vehicle with some sort of class and dignity while the family from which we were "borrowing" sat in lawn chairs on their driveway drinking beers and laughing.

Yes, it is humbling taking other peoples trash. Especially if they are watching. This is why we usually wear all black and pull baseball caps way over our eyes. It feels so sneaky. Then you can't really tell if they are watching you. You can drag the trash away with some sort of dignity.

The prize for the best team effort in reusing items went to the carload of children driven by grandmother and mom. They had 4 kids that would scamper out of the vehicle with head lamps on and search through the various items holding up specific goods to be reviewed by the mom/grandmother team in the car. If the older team felt the younger crew had come upon a high dollar item they would throw the car into reverse pop the trunk and start throwing the wares into the back end. I have never seen a more efficient use of a child.

This once a year event is really a hoot. I love driving around watching people dig and haul and pull and tug all sorts of things from other people's curbs. We have found headboards, rocking chairs, coolers, mini tramps, typewriters, yard toys and so much more. All sorts of treasures!! Sometimes under closer discrimination we have found the imperfections and realized that they should be thrown back on our curb for pick up only to see one of our kind snag it from our own driveway!! It is such a game.

I am in a dilemma this year. My whole extended family will be in town during the annual grab another guys trash day. :( How can I possibly leave them to drive aimlessly through the streets of town looking for bargain trash? Especially when one family member thinks shopping at Target is low rent!! This my friends, has me in a quandary. How can I possibly miss the best trash day of the year??? Guess I may have to get incognito and head out to "get some milk"! Look for me...I am wearing my headlamp this year!!

My Birthday boy...

This is the man of my dreams celebrating his 42 birthday. If you look closely at the special shirt I got him you will read the word "adorkable." I love this sentiment. It fits him to a tee. Look at the little guy on there.....he is even wearing the same glasses!!



I laughed so hard when I saw this because my sweet husband has always been a self-proclaimed dork. He is an engineer by trade. He is the guy that in college worked as a tudor for the math department. He knows far too much about computers and control systems. He all but has a pocket protector!!

The dear thing about him is he can laugh at himself. He has worn this shirt proudly and without any hesitation! He is setting such a great example for our kids by being himself and being proud of it. I love this about him!! This is why he so adorkable to me!!

Not a serious blogger...

Okay...one thing that i have noticed about blogging is that I do not take it seriously enough. I am not a wordsmith. I don't love writing. I am not an eloquent author or writer. I do not have aspirations of being a composer of any sort of written word. I just love journaling my thoughts. I like getting a chance to document my life and the things that strike me.


I keep reading other blogs. Thus the self-deprication begins. They (those professional blogs) never have poor grammar or run-on sentences or lots of these dot things........ which i love! It's obvious....I am not a professional blogger. The more I read other blogs the more self flogging I do over my blogging!! I am the worst about switching tenses and talking like I am 12. I often forget to begin new paragraphes. I know if my sophomore english teacher read this she would roll her eyes in disgust. UGH> why do I have this fight about comparing myself even in the blog world???

Is there a blog competition? Or some set of blog judges? I know there is no blog rating...but still the threat of being considered a crappy blogger plagues me. Why? Why think about it. Just blog for blog's sake. I must find peace with the lack of sentence structure girl I am. Confidence in the fact that I like me and my thoughts are not to impress others but just to get them off my chest.

So enough already. My JV position on blogging is not going to distract me from authentically communicating my life. That is all this is supposed to be about....me and my life. So, if you stumble across this page and snicker in disbelief with my grammatical goofs and inexcusable blunders, forgive me. Rage on....move it over...find a new friend with a flare for the pen and leave me to post my points in peace.

Raising a big boy

I am in a stage of parenting that challenges and presses me in many new ways. For instance, my now bushy headed 13 yr. old is starting to gain momentum in asserting his independent spirit.

We began our most recent episode with him staring into my eyes when I began to discipline him. We are almost the exact same height and this is starting to empower him in new and interesting ways. Today he chose to throw a bag of stinky shoes and gym clothes across the room after I nagged him several times to remove them from my kitchen counter.

I caught myself wanting to spank him. It became almost comical since I was trying to seriously communicate how disrespectful his little routine was when he began to smirk. I want to laugh too. He is smart enough to know better. He should be better behaved and more responsible with such a minor task. I think I may have showed him my wedding ring and asked him if he would like to have it meshed into those green-banded braces. He smirked some more and then i threatened to take away his phone. He faked a sober stare and acted minutely remorseful in hopes the threat would not come to pass. I held my position and eye contact just long enough for him to look away first and walk off. Then I sighed a breath of relief that this little battle was won but there are many more to come.....

(Yes, this is an outdated picture since the teeth have been recently banded and decorated in various colored bands!)

Signs of the time

This is what my mom told me happens to every first grader. She should know since she taught first grade/kindergarten for over 30 years. She said it never fails, the sweet little first graders start the year with their perfect little "chicklet" teeth and by the end of the year they look like whacked out jack-o-lanterns. Guess she is the expert.

This really just isn't about big gaping holes in my precious baby's mouth....it is about growing up. Which really makes me weepy. Seeing this little 6 year old turning into a big toothed grade schooler really reflects that my babies are growing up. This is my last little one who will lose those two front teeth and forever be propelled into prepubesent world of hormones and changes and eventual adulthood. This is just the beginning! I am not ready. I wanted her to keep those chicklets for a long time. Where did my little baby go?