Fear of the unknown....

My beloved stepfather has cancer. It is prostate cancer that has already moved to his bones. This isn't good. He currently is being treated by some dissovable medicine bullet that they put in his arm to kill testosterone and slow the progression. This doesn't comfort me at all. I want it to go away completely. I want him to be cancer free. I want him to feel good and have no lingering symptoms or pain. I hate that he has cancer. I hate that this is happening. I hate not knowing what will happen next. When it will happen. How he will feel. I am truly saddened by this whole thing. It lingers in my spirit. It dampens my heart. I feel helpless. I don't know how to proceed. I feel sort of paralyzed by fear. Fear that he will be in pain. Fear for my mom and how she is doing with all this. Fear of losing him. I am afraid. I am out of control. This is again where my only hope happens in Christ. I cast this whole deal on Him. I must remind myself again and again that it is not about me. God's purposes are bigger then mine. His ways are not my ways. This is troubling sometimes. My ways would be different.