I am trying....

This week has been challenging. One of my co-workers told me I was cynical. Could i disagree? No, instead i just cried. Yeah, that is always good for the work relationship. Especially when the co-worker is a fella. They really like that crying scene. Makes for a comfortable dynamic. UGH. So, i guess my attempt at a new attitude is very timely. Seems I am not the only one noticing my lack of enthusiasm about all the goodness that surrounds me. This is truly sad to me. I hate the idea that others notice my less then optimistic spirit. I can't manufacture it though. That is not going to happen. I must really wait on the Lord to transform me from the inside out. I keep yielding this yuck to Him. I think I am in process. Just wish it would happen a little faster. Ahhh...life. The ups and downs. The tears with your co-workers. Makes for a good story and probably even a more transparent working relationship, right?

New Week, New 'tude!!

Gotta confess that the pangs of depression have beating on my spirit recently. Is it self indulged with a sprinkle of extra carb loading?? tinge of too much TV watching?? Sure, I definitely have not helped my own situation by marinating in the gloom. But for pity sakes...it has been butt cold for days on end. There has literally not been a ray of sunshine for weeks and the recycled air of indoors is choking the life out of me. UGH. So today, i commit to a new attitude. I will look at the mud laden yard speckled with nasty snow remnants and actually try to see the grass peeking somewhere under it. I will pretend that 38 degree weather is really very near to 50 degrees which is almost considered warm enough to be spring like!! Yes, I will clean my dirty crusty car with confidence and optimism that this may be one of only a couple of more times before winter officially ends. I will try, honestly attempt, to stay positive about this tundra that I have been living in. I want to be that glass-half -full girl. I want to see life through a lens of hope. It is a new week....why not?

Where is the sun? Why won't it come out? Where did it go? Can it come back!! I am so so sick of gray days. Just a week ago we were enjoying the sun and sand in California. I miss it so much. I would stay there until May if I could. I would wait until the sun comes back to Kansas to return!!I miss the ocean. I miss the sand and the smell of the salt in the air. I miss vacation.

Hello new blog!!

Yea! I am an official new blogger. I have always wanted on online place to share my heart. Now i can feel like a professional. This should be fun. I am excited to scribble my thoughts down here. I doubt I will be one of those crazy super intellectual overthinker types. I really have no interest in rating books or judging local artists. Just basically share my life....as real as I can. So, if you stumble upon this please do not read too critically into my shallow thoughts and feelings. I am just doing life the best i can. Just trusting God to produce in me His character. It will happen in a variety of ways I am sure and maybe this will be the perfect place for me to watch it happen. Life is Good. I gotta live it real.